Monday, January 31, 2011

Surgery Complete

I am waking up from the surgery when I hear the nurse say," They were in there for quite awhile, how is your pain?" My first groggy thought is "Oh, no they were in there for awhile! That can't be good!"

The goal of this laparoscopy was to get answers and we got answers, but we still have questions.  After the surgery I finally got to see my husband in recovery.  Before I went into surgery I told him to really listen carefully to the doctor when he comes out of the surgery because I would still be in recovery.  Well, he listened so well he took notes on his I-Pad and if you know my husband it is no surprise that he took advantage of being able to use the I-Pad.  When I asked him what the doctor said I could just see it in his eyes that the news was not what we wanted to hear.  He began to tell me that they found endometreosis on my left ovary and behind my uterus, which I was not surprised by, but I knew he was just trying to prepare me for the worst by starting out with the not so bad.  The doctor also found a fibrous cyst on my uterus, which he removed.  What the doctor did not expect to find was that my tubes were closed off (blocked) and appeared to be swollen.  This was a shock and complete surprise because I had an HSG test about a year and half ago that came back clear and showed my tubes open.  Now I have more questions.  This would however explain exactly why we have not been able to get pregnant.

My doctor wants to follow up with me in 2 weeks and our appointment has already been scheduled.  He has already said that he may want to do another HSG test and he will look at all of my information, then we will come up with a game plan.  I don't want to jump to conclusions, but the game plan is looking more and more like IVF.

As I have been recovering from my couch for the past 3 days I have been trying to figure out how I feel about all of this new found information.  Initial thought, it is me, I am the one who is keeping us from getting pregnant.  How much longer is this process going to take and how much more of this process can I take?  I do however feel grateful that we have options.  Women didn't always have the options that are set before me today and I need to be grateful.  This path that I have been put on is not one that I would have chosen for myself, but it is one that has been chosen for me.  Someone has put me on this path for a reason and I can only hold strong to faith that I will learn from this experience and the outcome will be worth the journey.

In two weeks we will have a game plan and hopefully be a step closer to becoming parents.  Until then I will try to stay in the positive and stop reading information online.  I swear they just love to put worse case scenarios out there for you to read, so you will freak out.  I have faith in my doctor and the support of my husband, so whatever decisions that will be made will be the best that we can make.  I said I wanted answers and that is what I got.  I just wish the answers would have been different.

3 comments:

  1. I am just now catching up on your blog (I'm not getting email notifications??? hummm) Anyways, I'm so proud of you for keeping this up. What a healthy way to get it all out. You are amazing and will be blessed, somehow, someway. And yes, keep off of the internet! It will just make you paranoid, like me :) xoxox

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